The days u had gone

I do my best not to think
i do my best not to love
i do my best not to miss
i do my best not to see

is hurt is sad is in hell

but i know thats the only way
to let go to give up

i love u more than everyone
i care u more than u can see

im not as strong as u think
im not as tough as u see
im not as independent as u know

but without u
i need to be stronger...

whenever i having problems
i will never call again

the speed dial number will never change
just i will never long press again

i wont cry and call again
i wont talk about everything anymore
i wont tell u whats going on
i wont share my stories anymore

not selfish just u dont care

i just wish she will love u longer than me one more day..

I'm fine

Nth to say 

My heart just only feel the pain and nth else

Stay back

Is what I can do

Leave you

Is the best for u

Wish you

Is the only words I can say

Sorry for make u feel that way

Sorry for everything I did

Sorry for I should tell u earlier

Sorry for I should realize earlier

Thanks for being so cruel 

Thanks for waking me up

Thanks for leave me once again

Thanks for make me even stronger 

Memories only hold me for step forward 

Dreams will pull me for stepping backward

U used to be the memories and the dreams

But now u are the memories.....

 

Who am i for you

You are my everything

but for you, who am i ?

20 facts about me

1. i really love money and love to be rich

2. im a very self confidence person

3. im a very self protecting girl

4. i have super duper strong ego

5. i very stubborn

6. i got my own prinsip

7. i dont like to explain

8. i hate people doubt on me

9. i hate to wait

10. i hate to take ppl for granted, so dont take me for granted too..

11. treat me good i will 10times good to u too..

12. Family are always number 1...

13. He is the only person i trust i rely and i care..

14. I can give him everything even the time...

15. i can do everything if he ask to..

16. he is too important for me..

17. he not my boyfriend but he more than boyfriend more than family

18. i love him more than i love myself

19. i got a buddy that i know him for 6 years and knew him through online..

20. i believe in miracle so im a designer

Your dream will be part of my dream

after one year

i finally got my first car
the feeling is so happy so excited

first time drive so far
along the way from melaka to KL
from KL to ipoh
from ipoh to Penang

i meet 2 VIP in my life

one is my little boy
one is my buddy

little boy always there for me bo matter how
i truly appreciate that GOD bring him to me
a listener a angel a motivator in my life

buddy.. a man that always understand me
he know all the feeling all the passion
he know my name and my story

a journey is not journey without them

i just nothing to you

hey.. im here..

blog is the place whenever i cant find someone to talk and leave down the msg here

some are good;some are bad

the way i care is too much for you
the way i care make you feel weird
the way i care chase you away

i have no ideas what should i do

heart break for thousands times just bcs of your words
heart beat fast for thousands times also just bcs of your words

u are too affective to me
u are too poison for me

the closer i go the suffer i am

for no reason being good to you
for no reason giving unlimited to you
for no reason wanna treat you good as much as i can
for no reason i keep falling into you

there's many times i wanna give up
i wanna disappear from your life
i wanna hide far away from you

but who cares
you may never know
how important you are to me

i should stay away from you
just far away

i cant take it whenever you ignore me

After one and a half year

after one and a half year
we finally meet up

as usual my heart beat fast
as usual u pick me up at bus station

u look more matured
u look more gentleman

whenever i see u
i cant control myself for falling to you

i wanna hold ur hand so badly
u are sitting right in front of me
but i still miss u badly

thanks for giving me a chance to step one step closer to know abt ur lifestyle

i love ur life.. being a student
i will help u up no matter what..

i just dont want to see u go the way i went through..
i will never let u..

a message to you

*no matter what happen, i always here for you.. you are the one i dont want to lost so so so badly.. i cant imagine the life without you.. i love you..*

Non stop waving

Non stop

The wave is non stop waving 

Sometimes strong sometimes soft

Some ppl enjoy it

Some ppl hate it

The little boy

I really down really lost

But he saved me

No matter who is he

I still love him as always do

He make me smile make me laugh

Just like he always do

I have been one and half year didn't see him

And I so miss him

We have a lot of things to do when we meet up

We gonna to have all the so called

"Positive food" to recharge our energy

He is the only one 

I want to trust and really trust

I wish I can maintain this relationship till we get old

I wish he always there when I need him

And so I always there when he need me

Pray hard

We always as good as now

We always love each other 

We always protect each other

I'm back

But I will use a different way to treat the one treat me differently

Stay strong

Stay firm

Stay happy

Wouldn't understand

Can't stop being down to the sea

I can't understand why

I can't understand how

Rolling on the bed for 2 days d

Still a lot of negative energy

My positive energy all gone

Buddy 2 words " jia you "

My tears non stop dropping 

Buddy one sentence " u can do it "

My heart straight drop to deep sea

This is the first time ever I feel so hard to stand up

This is the first time I feel like giving up

This is the first time I feel like so weak n sick

I pray hard for more courage for more positive energy

I really pray hard

I need a deep breath 

I need a good rest

I need an inner peace 

Can someone help me?

很累了

我真的不会了

我真的累了

到底要怎么做

到底怎么做才是对的

谁能教我

谁能告诉我

放弃

一切都没了

不放弃

一切都很难捱

迷失

真的很迷失

谋生

比谋生人还要谋生

坚持就会看到希望吗

还是坚持只会看到绝望

我不想后悔

我想坚持

可是我真的很累了

不解释说我不能沟通

解释了又说我自我

我到底应该怎么做

Calm

Sorry for being extremely curious for everything 

Curious

Stubborn

Over protect

Over confident

Jealous 

Selfish

Rude

I have all these nature attitude and personalities within myself

I always have a lot of questions

I always curious about everything I seen

I always try to know try to observed

And I notice I know too much

And I notice I observed too much 

Because of curiosity 

I have strong observation 

And I become over confident

When I become over confident 

I being too protective and start being selfish

When everything become selfish

I start to be stubborn and rude

Even not to accept people comments

And even jealous the one better than me

For me,

Being jealous is better than just admire

Jealous bring u stronger WANTED feeling

Admire bring u normal ACCEPT feeling

I am not the perfect one

But I do my best to be the perfect one

I am not good in everything

But I learn to be good in everything 

I am not smart to be a person 

But I observe how to be smart

I am not the friendly one

But I do give a smile to everyone

I am not the good good girl

But I do my best to be the supergirl

I am not the one for NEVERMIND

But I do my best not keep in mind 

I am not the kind hearted one

But i do my best not to be selfish with u

I can do whatever u ask to

Just because GIVE AND TAKE

I believe in karma

So anything I can help I will do

I step a wrong big step

To show everyone the perfect side

No one will accept the imperfection from me

I start a friendship with smile 

I start a friendship with love

I start a friendship with kind

I start a friendship with manners

And all these turn into a trouble now

A huge trouble

Once u show ur perfect side

They will always want the perfect one from u

Greedy

Everyone is too greedy

I treat u good treat u fine

Is not my living motto

But is my living attitude

Don't treat it as I should do this

Polite

Humble

These nature attitude can't find within me

I'm not the polite one

I'm not the humble one

I have super strong ego

I can't accept people taking granted from me

I can't accept people step on me

I can't accept people making fun of me

I can't accept people critics me

I can't accept people betray me

I can't accept people backstab me

Because of this strong ego

I can't put down my face and bow to u

I can't put away my ego and easily apologise

I can't knee down to beg u

Sorry to being so strong and so firm

Sorry to being so stubborn and so hard

Sorry to being so straight and so cool

Pls do accept this is me

The real one

The imperfect one

The stubborn one

A serious Saturday morning 

Realize

6 years 

I only realize I'm just nothing to him

Just a passenger

Just a normal people

Just a tiny one

Heart break into pieces

Tears drop into throat

How much I care

How much I love

How much I support

It never compete with some others one

I still the same

Choosing to be there for him

Always support 

Always love 

Always care

I have no reason why I do this 

Maybe I owe him in previous life 

Different

Everything seem different right now

I choose to be quiet for all the time

I choose to be stupid for all the time

I getting frustrated 

I getting tired

I getting fed up

For everything he do

I speechless

I care less

I give up

For everything he decided

He always said he understand me

But no one understand me

He sleep while I working thought the whole night

He date while I rushing all the pending job

He enjoy while I just wanna to get some little time for cleaning my room

What I want now is time and car

I don't want to wait for him every morning

Follow him everywhere everyday and doing nth

I sick for these............. 

Girls wear nice clothes to work, I can't 

Girls wear handbag to work, I can't 

Girls wear heels to work, I can't 

I got to wear pants and shirt

Because I don't know where will I go everytday

I got to carry my laptop bag everywhere

Because I never know when he will ask me to open laptop

I got to wear flat or shoes 

Because I have no idea whether I need to go site or not

I don't need u to report everything to me

But at least let me know what's going on

I don't need u to tell me everything but at least when I involve in it pls inform me

I hate being ignored, I hate being transparent 

I even hate lies, I even hate to wait

I try to be positive all the while

I do my best to my perfect just bcs I don't want let people see my weakness

I smile but deep there is unhappy

I love but deep there is kind of hate

I laugh but deep there is crying

I talk but deep there is quiet

Be smart be myself

I choose to be quiet

An emo Sunday 

My 23rd Birthday Celebration

One day by one day

Time past really fast

And I getting elder and elder 

Here comes to my 23rd birthday 

As sister plan we go to have buffet dinner 

And I never know what she plan 

I wanted to celebrate with him very much

Wanted him to join me for dinner

But he reject due to our work is really loaded

And I understand

So my sisters and I went to Times Square tao

And he fetch me there and he leave

I still very exciting to have dinner there

So I just ignore everything

When we enjoying our food till half way

Suddenly tao people open birthday song 

And is normal bcs tao having promotion for May bday ppl

And I continue enjoy my nice food

Here comes again for bday song after 15 mins

And I saw few ppl walking to my way

And it really weird

Guess who I see.....

I was like a happy girl

Smile without my eye open

I saw him carrying cake walk to me

I know he plan everything with my sis

I never knew he will come and give a surprise

Didn't feel touch but feel really excited and happy

The whole day we just stick tgt and shop A tu Z till late evening 

He lies to me he got work to do

But in fact he go buy cake and turn back

I really really appreciate what he do

Hahaha

Here come with some of the pictures

*thanks my VIP for everything, one of my wish goes to u, wish u have a happy life..

Christmas....

The week Christmas

I ard bought a present for u

A present that u wish to have

And I hang in somewhere in ur car

But u never realize it

This make me feel fool

But in the end

I am the one tell u that have sth in ur car

And u guessed it right 

Is SnapBack 

I bought it online from Capcity

And I know u like it very much 

-----------------------------

And we have an exchange gift promise

So u go bought something that out of my expectation

On the day before Christmas

I bought myself a note 3

I can't make my mind to buy an expensive and nice cover

So I just bought a super cheap cover 

And the next day

U present me a note 3 cover

That's totally awesome

This is the one I plan to buy 

But the end I give up

Is so coincidence 

We went to same shop to bought the cover 

Our Christmas 

Also working like usual 

Never off never holidays

New year is coming

I wish to get in more income

So both of us can have prosperity new year

 

Merry Christmas and happy new year

Never want that to be happen

Today is Good Friday 

*Throwback*

He facing his company problem since this year, his assistance steal his pendrive and all the info.. He urgently find new assistance.. And yeah, he manage to get 2 of them.. But this 2 ended with work stress and another cheating.. Make a lot of story just try to go other company interview and work.. Told him that she will be move to other state and settle some problems.. Then when he had no assistance she text him said she come back for a week, ask him whether need help or not.. And sorry for being so bitchy (myself), I check everything and found out that this girl never been to any state and all the time is in Penang.. Same time same date, she told him she at other state, but tagged in FB in Penang.. When I knew everything, I really dun know how to tell him.. I know he will feel hurt.. But I can't see him being cheated again and again.. So I managed to tell him.. And he said maybe I'm wrong.. And I was like WTF??!! I feel like I'm the stupid and idiot that care so much for u.. But what make me feel better is u tell me after few days that u reject her to come back for help.. 

And since that day, u never mention her anymore.. So many of interviews, I found 2 assistance for u.. And I feel relieve bcs this 2 girls really work hard and help u a lot.. While everything start to going smooth, again the problems appear.. Ur ex assistance meet ur boss, tell everything and caused u into trouble.. And yet ur boss stop ur salary and dun wan pick up ur call.. 

Today,

Finally u have the meeting with ur boss..

Is damn nervous for me..

I might not know what come next.. 

I scare u lost the job..

I scare u will lost ur mind..

And after so many hours,

U called me and tell me everything..

And suddenly u said sth I really dun like..

U said ur boss might move u to other state to form new team.. And u ask me to lead my own team in Penang to do all these.. I really feel so so so disappointed.. 

U said u will fight tgt to achieve the dream we want.. But now, it seem like u change ur mind bcs u get a better offer..

Although u tell me u never want to give up our company, but I really dun like this decision.. 

U said everything is still working on.. Won't be so fast and u will very happy to lead ur team at other state.. 

What my answer to u is I wnt help u lead the team for our company.. I really dun like to do this alone.. Although u told me before to ask me take care of this company.. But my answer still the same, I will not lead.. 

I hate to be a leader..

If ur decision is to leave Penang,

Same to mine I will leave to study..

14th of January- diary valentine's day

Today is

DIARY VALENTINE's DAY

and I have date with my job and my partner

From morning till night

And luckily we have some free time at the centre

We went to BM just to drop by sth for customer 

Then we back Penang again

Seen the time is still early

He bring me go shopping

What a surprise is

He wanna buy me a laptop bag

That's sound great seem my bag is almost spoiled and hole here and there

He can't find any nice bag that suit me

So we give up after walk to few shop

End up

I accompany him buy new year pants

What a sad case

I'm carrying my laptop bag the whole time

That's heavy~~>.<

Everyday facing him at least 15hours

The closer relationship ever

We are not couple but we look likes

In out always 2 person

Go shopping also 2 person

I'm so worry abt his the other half

>.<

Anyway he is my business partner yet my close buddy~~^^

Wish our company can grow bigger and bigger ..